40 year old virgin dating became a viral conversation when Olympic hurdler Lolo Jones publicly stated that revealing her virginity had effectively destroyed her dating life. The 40 year old virgin confession sparked debate across the internet — and Fordee from Herbistry420 weighed in while blazing and reading the original UnilAD article. Here is an honest breakdown of what dating someone who is a virgin actually means in the modern dating world, and why it creates real complications for both sides.
40 Year Old Virgin Dating: The Lolo Jones Story
Lolo Jones is an Olympic gold medalist hurdler who later joined the US bobsled team — a genuinely impressive athletic career. She is also, by her own admission, a 40-year-old virgin who is saving herself for marriage. Her 40 year old virgin confession was not made quietly — she went public, and the response was immediate: men stopped pursuing her. Her dating life effectively ended the moment the information went public.
Fordee’s reaction watching this unfold: “obviously.” Not cruelly — just honestly. Sex is not the most important part of a relationship, but it is part of it. And when someone announces upfront that sex is off the table indefinitely, most adults weigh the math and walk.
Virgin Dating Challenges: What She Is Actually Asking Of You
The virgin dating challenges here go beyond just patience. Fordee lays it out plainly: when you date someone saving themselves for marriage, you are being asked to commit to potentially years of dating with no certainty you will ever get married, no certainty sex will ever happen, and no way to know if the physical chemistry is even there.
He uses a car analogy to illustrate the virgin dating challenges: would you buy a car without sitting in it, test-driving it, or knowing how it performs? Most people would not. Yet that is the arrangement being proposed — a major life commitment based entirely on factors other than compatibility in one of the most important areas of a long-term relationship.
There is also the health dimension. Research suggests regular sexual activity supports hormone balance, mood, and general wellbeing. Fordee mentions the widely circulated statistic that men should orgasm regularly to reduce prostate cancer risk. Whether or not you weigh that heavily, the point stands: physical intimacy is not a trivial part of adult life.
Saving Sex Until Marriage: A Modern Dilemma
There is nothing wrong with saving sex until marriage as a personal choice. Fordee is clear about that — he respects the decision. The issue is the practical reality of modern dating. Most people date for a year or two before deciding whether to commit long-term. Asking someone to invest that time, energy, and emotion with zero physical intimacy and no guaranteed outcome is a hard sell.
The worst-case scenario for saving sex until marriage that Fordee points out: you get married, the sexual compatibility is not there, you try to work through it, it does not improve, and now you are dealing with divorce — potentially losing half of everything. The stakes of marrying before knowing whether you are physically compatible are genuinely high.
There is also the question of whether hyper-focus on a goal — in Lolo’s case, her athletic career — crowds out the space needed to build and maintain relationships. Fordee observes that elite performers often sacrifice personal relationships for their craft. The virginity may be less about religious conviction and more about a life that simply did not prioritize dating and intimacy for decades.
Dating Someone Who Is a Virgin: Fordee’s Honest Take
Would Fordee date a 40-year-old virgin? No — and he explains why without judgment. Beyond the logistical challenges, there is a concern about curiosity: dating someone who is a virgin at that stage of life means they have never had a frame of reference. Once that changes, will they wonder what else is out there? That uncertainty is its own kind of risk in a relationship.
His view: dating someone who is a virgin is a personal call, and if that works for you and the other person, great. But being surprised that men are not lining up to sign a years-long commitment with zero guarantees is not realistic. Understanding the perspective of potential partners is part of navigating modern dating honestly.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is 40 year old virgin dating so difficult?
40 year old virgin dating is difficult because most adults in modern relationships expect physical intimacy to be part of a committed partnership. Announcing upfront that sex will not happen until marriage — if at all — asks potential partners to commit to an open-ended arrangement with no guaranteed timeline, which most people are not willing to do.
What are the main virgin dating challenges?
The main virgin dating challenges are compatibility uncertainty, timeline pressure, and the difficulty of building deep intimacy without a physical dimension. Both partners face challenges — one is asked to wait indefinitely, the other is navigating a level of inexperience their partner may not share.
Is saving sex until marriage a valid choice?
Absolutely. Saving sex until marriage is a personal and often deeply held conviction. The conversation is not about whether it is valid — it is about being honest that it creates real practical challenges in modern dating, and that understanding potential partners’ perspectives helps navigate those challenges more realistically.
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