Dab Session Coked Up Sharks: 5 Wild Things to Know

A dab session coked up sharks episode was not on anyone’s 2024 bingo card, but here we are. Fordee sits down with the Bomb E-Rig for a proper dabbing session and riffs on two genuinely wild real-world news stories: sharks off the coast of Brazil testing positive for cocaine, and a one-year-old baby who somehow survived two days alone on a Louisiana highway. Equal parts stoner commentary and actual news, this is what Herbistry420 does best.

The Setup: Bomb E-Rig Dab Session for This Dab Session Coked Up Sharks Episode

The bomb e-rig review was already done the week before, and this bomb e-rig dab session revisits it in action, but felt the review didn’t capture what makes it great. So he went back in for a full session to give it a proper showcase. Loaded up, ball cap closed, five clicks to power on, two clicks to start heating. The countdown begins, temp set to 430°F, battery at full charge.

The first hit is a big one. Milky, lung-expanding, slightly over-ambitious — exactly the kind of hit that makes you realize the dab session is officially going to go somewhere interesting. The Bomb E-Rig has a large oven for its size and price point, includes a joystick ball cap, and hits harder than its entry-level classification suggests. The one trade-off is that the glass isn’t upgradeable beyond one additional optional piece, and there are no aftermarket atomizer options. But for what it is, it delivers.

Dab Session Coked Up Sharks: What the News Actually Said

The cocaine sharks Brazil news story — spinner sharks off the coast of Brazil tested positive for cocaine. Not just a couple of sharks — every single sample. Researchers believe the source is drug traffickers dumping product into the sea to avoid law enforcement seizures. The concentration of cocaine in the water has reached a level where the marine life absorbs it directly.

This is peak stoner news commentary territory — Fordee’s perspective comes from personal experience as a spearfisher. He’s spent time in the Mediterranean, and while shark encounters are rare there, the idea of cocaine-addled sharks in any ocean is enough to give any diver pause. His analysis: a coked-up shark would either be extremely chatty and social (wanting to tell you about their week) or aggressively confrontational. The Goodfellas reference lands well. Either way, you probably don’t want to be in the water with one.

Beyond the comedy, there’s a real environmental concern here. Sustained cocaine contamination of marine ecosystems is largely unstudied, and what it does to fish, turtles, and other ocean wildlife is unknown. The volume of product being dumped into the ocean to escape drug enforcement operations is staggering, and the sharks are just the visible symptom of a much larger chemical pollution problem.

Super Baby: The Second Dab Session Coked Up Sharks Story

Article two in this dab session is what earned the “Super Baby” title. A one-year-old infant was found crawling on a Louisiana highway after reportedly surviving alone for two days. A trucker spotted the baby and called it in. Two days on a summer highway in Louisiana — with the heat, the humidity, the alligators, and the traffic — and the baby was alive and reasonably okay. Fordee’s reaction is genuine and hilarious: he was about to crawl to his couch at home while baked, and thought better of it. This baby made that look like nothing.

The backstory adds a darker note. The baby’s older sibling had died two days prior under unclear circumstances, the mother was absent, and she was eventually found one state over. She was arrested for failing to report the child’s death. But the focus in this dab session stays on the survival story — a one-year-old human being on a highway for 48 hours is extraordinary, whatever else was happening.

Why the Dab Session Coked Up Sharks Format Works as Stoner News Commentary

The dab session coked up sharks format is the essence of stoner news commentary — smoke something, talk about something weird — and it’s legitimately entertaining. The commentary gets funnier as the session progresses. Fordee isn’t a political commentator or a journalist, but he reads widely and his reactions to news stories while progressively higher are genuinely funny. The Bomb E-Rig earns its place in the video as a reliable co-star. Would love to see more episodes in this format.