This ice cream mission fail is one for the books. After getting super high and craving a frozen treat, what should have been a simple trip to the local ice cream shop turned into a comedy of errors involving long lines, social anxiety, and a bag of European Cheetos. If you have ever been too stoned to function in public, this storytime hits close to home.
The Ice Cream Mission Fail That Started It All
It all began after a productive editing session. Feeling accomplished and very elevated, the munchies kicked in hard. The target? A fancy tiramisu ice cream from the shop just down the street. Sounds easy enough, but when you are baked out of your mind and living in a tight-knit European neighborhood, nothing is simple.
The ice cream shop was packed with 12 people waiting in line. For a sober person, no big deal. For someone operating at maximum altitude, that line might as well have been a mile long. This ice cream mission fail was already taking shape before even reaching the counter.
5 Stoner Struggles of Living Abroad
This ice cream mission fail highlights some universal truths about being a stoner expat. Here are 5 real struggles that come with being high in a foreign country.
1. Running Into Everyone You Know
In the US, the biggest fear when leaving the house stoned is getting pulled over by police. In Europe, it is bumping into your neighbors. When you have lived in the same neighborhood for years, a quick trip to the corner shop means dodging at least three people who want to chat. Not ideal when you can barely form sentences.
2. The Language Barrier Gets Worse
Speaking a second language is hard enough sober. Add cannabis to the mix, and ordering a simple ice cream cone feels like taking a pop quiz in a language class you skipped all semester. The fear of sounding ridiculous is real.
3. Lines Feel 10 Times Longer
A dozen people in line? Might as well be a hundred when you are trying to act casual while your eyes tell a different story. Standing still in public while high requires a level of patience that most stoners simply do not possess.
4. Settling for Snacks You Did Not Want
The ultimate ice cream mission fail moment: abandoning the tiramisu dream and grabbing a bag of Cheetos sticks from the corner shop instead. European Cheetos are a far cry from the American originals — no curves, less flavor, and a shape that looks suspiciously like a sad french fry.
5. Overthinking Every Social Interaction
Even the corner shop owner — a friend — gets the silent treatment. A simple nod replaces conversation because the risk of getting stuck mid-sentence is too high. The internal monologue is working overtime while the external communication shuts down completely.
Ice Cream Mission Fail Lessons Learned
Every stoner has experienced some version of this ice cream mission fail. The takeaway? Keep snacks at home before you get high. Stock the freezer with ice cream, keep chips in the pantry, and save yourself the social obstacle course. Or better yet, make your own cannabis-infused ice cream and skip the trip entirely.
Living abroad adds extra layers of comedy to everyday stoner situations. The cultural differences between being high in the US versus Europe are real, and they make for some of the best storytimes. At least the Cheetos sticks had less “poison” than the American version — small wins, right?
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do munchies hit so hard after getting high?
THC stimulates the CB1 receptors in your brain that regulate appetite and food reward. This makes food smell and taste better while also increasing hunger signals, which is why a simple ice cream craving can feel like an urgent mission.
What are the best snacks to keep at home for munchies?
Stock up on ice cream, chips, fruit, cheese, and easy-to-grab items that require zero preparation. Having snacks ready at home prevents ice cream mission fail situations and keeps you off the streets when you are not in a social mood.
Is cannabis culture different in Europe compared to the US?
Absolutely. In Europe, cannabis laws and social norms vary widely by country. The biggest difference for many expats is the lack of car culture — walking everywhere means more face-to-face encounters with neighbors, which can be challenging when you are elevated.
References
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