Returning to work stoned is a very specific kind of adventure. You walk through the door with the confidence of someone who definitely has everything under control, and then you spend the next hour trying to remember how computers work. Fordee captured this experience perfectly in this Herbistry420 short — and if you’ve ever done it yourself, you already know exactly what this video is about.
5 Things That Happen When Returning to Work Stoned
1. Your Face Does Weird Things
The first challenge when returning to work stoned is controlling your face. You’re trying to look completely normal, but your expression keeps doing things on its own — a slight smirk when someone says something mundane, or an expression of deep philosophical contemplation when someone asks where the stapler is.
2. Simple Tasks Take 3 Times Longer
Logging in to your computer becomes a whole thing. Your password — the one you’ve typed ten thousand times — suddenly requires your full attention. Returning to work stoned transforms routine tasks into multi-step problems that require careful deliberation and at least one false start.
3. You’re Suddenly Very Interested in Water
Cottonmouth hits differently when you’re in a professional environment. You’ll make at least three trips to the water cooler, and each trip will feel like a strategic retreat where you get to compose yourself for a moment before heading back to your desk.
4. Someone Asks a Question and Time Stops
When returning to work stoned, being asked a direct question by a coworker is the ultimate test. You understand the words. You know the answer is somewhere in your head. Retrieving it just takes a little longer than usual, and that pause before you respond feels approximately 400 years long.
5. Everything Is Funnier Than It Should Be
The dry-erase board. A coworker’s coffee mug. The phrase “synergize our deliverables.” When returning to work stoned, everything in the office becomes subtly hilarious. Keeping a straight face is the real job.
Is Returning to Work Stoned a Good Idea?
Short answer: probably not. Cannabis affects reaction time, short-term memory, and task-switching — exactly the things you need to function at work. If your job involves heavy machinery, driving, or anything safety-critical, being stoned is a serious risk. For desk jobs, it’s mostly just uncomfortable and inefficient. The honest take: save the session for after work and enjoy it properly. Your coworkers will thank you. So will your productivity.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can you get fired for returning to work stoned?
In most jurisdictions, yes — being impaired at work is grounds for disciplinary action or termination, even where cannabis is legal recreationally. Workplace impairment policies treat cannabis similarly to alcohol. Returning to work stoned puts your job at risk, especially in safety-sensitive industries.
How long does cannabis impairment last?
For most people, the peak impairment from smoking or vaping cannabis lasts 1–3 hours, with some cognitive effects lingering for 3–5 hours. Edibles can produce impairment lasting 4–8 hours or longer. Returning to work stoned — especially after edibles — can mean spending most of a shift noticeably impaired.
What should I do if I accidentally got too high before work?
Stay hydrated, eat something, and give it time — that’s the honest advice. CBD may help take the edge off for some people. If you can work remotely, that’s a better option than being visibly impaired in the office. Returning to work stoned isn’t the end of the world, but showing up very obviously high is a risk most people prefer to avoid after the first time.
References
- How Cannabis Affects the Body — Healthline
- Effects of Cannabis — Wikipedia
- About Cannabis — Health Canada
Learn More on Herbistry420
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