Shaving while stoned: it seems like it could work — until it absolutely doesn’t. Getting really high before you pick up a razor is the kind of decision that makes perfect sense in your head and zero sense in the mirror. Fordee learned this the hard way, and now you get to enjoy the chaos.
5 Reasons Shaving While Stoned Is a Terrible Idea
1. Your Hands Stop Cooperating
Cannabis affects fine motor control. Shaving while stoned means asking your hands to do precise work while your brain is floating somewhere above the bathroom ceiling. Razors are sharp. This math does not work in your favour.
2. You Forget Where You Started
You’ll shave the same patch three times and completely miss another spot. Shaving while stoned leads to the kind of patchy, uneven results that your boss will definitely notice on Monday morning.
3. Time Gets Weird
A ten-minute shave can stretch into forty-five minutes when you’re stoned — or you’ll think you’ve been thorough when you’ve only been at it for thirty seconds. Either way, your perception of how long this is taking is completely unreliable.
4. Mirrors Become Fascinating
Shaving requires actually looking at your face. When you’re stoned, the mirror becomes a rabbit hole. You’ll catch yourself staring intensely at your own pores, wondering deep thoughts, while the shaving cream dries to a crust on your chin.
5. The Solace at the End Is Still Hilarious
As Fordee puts it in the video — at least you don’t have to shave your balls, right? There’s always a silver lining when shaving while stoned. You find it. Eventually.
Should You Ever Shave While Stoned?
Look — nobody’s saying shaving while stoned is impossible. Some people swear it makes the experience more meditative. If you’re using a gentle safety razor and you’ve got nowhere to be, maybe it works for you. But if you’re on a schedule, using a multi-blade cartridge, and you’ve just taken a massive rip? Probably wait. The beard will still be there in twenty minutes when you come down a little.
Pro Tips for Shaving While Stoned (If You Insist)
- Use a single-blade safety razor — fewer blades means less damage if your hand slips
- Take your time and go slow — no rushing, no multi-tasking
- Use a good shaving cream or gel for slip and visibility
- Splash cold water on your face first to wake yourself up a little
- Have a styptic pencil nearby — just in case
Frequently Asked Questions
Is shaving while stoned dangerous?
It’s not exactly dangerous, but it does increase the risk of small nicks and cuts. Cannabis can slow reaction time and affect hand coordination, which makes precision tasks like shaving while stoned more error-prone than usual. Nothing life-threatening — just potentially embarrassing.
Does being high affect shaving performance?
Yes — cannabis affects fine motor control, spatial awareness, and time perception, all of which are useful when you’re trying to shave evenly. Shaving while stoned tends to result in uneven patches, forgotten spots, and the occasional unnecessary nick.
What’s the best time to shave if you’re a regular cannabis user?
Before your session is generally the smarter call. Get the shave done while you’re clear-headed, then enjoy your sesh without a deadline. Alternatively, wait until you’ve come down a bit. Shaving while stoned is a decision best made sober — ironically.
References
- Cannabis and Motor Coordination — Healthline
- Effects of Cannabis — Wikipedia
- About Cannabis — Health Canada
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