We’ve all been there. You thought you were being responsible, taking what you calculated to be a microdose — and then an hour later you realized: that wasn’t a microdose. Not even close. Whether it was a “one small piece” edible that turned into a full session, or a dab that was definitely bigger than you intended, this one’s dedicated to everyone who has accidentally launched themselves into orbit when they were just trying to take the scenic route.
What Is a Cannabis Microdose?
A cannabis microdose is typically defined as 1–5mg of THC — a low enough amount to feel subtle effects like relaxation, mild mood elevation, or focus, without significant psychoactive impairment. The goal is to stay functional while benefiting from cannabis. When you nail a microdose, you feel like a slightly upgraded version of yourself. When you don’t nail it — well, that wasn’t a microdose.
5 Hilarious Signs That Wasn’t a Microdose
1. You Can’t Remember What You Were Just Saying
Mid-sentence. Gone. The thought just evaporated. You know you had a point — a really good one, too — but it has since left the building. You confidently start three more sentences trying to reconstruct it, each one trailing off. Classic sign that wasn’t a microdose.
2. Everything Is Either Hilarious or Deeply Profound — Sometimes Both
The ceiling. Fascinating. You’ve been looking at it for 20 minutes and you’ve discovered patterns that architects probably didn’t even intend. On the flip side, your cat just did something and you’ve decided it’s the funniest thing you’ve ever witnessed in your entire life. No notes.
3. Time Has Become Theoretical
You could swear you sat down 5 minutes ago. It has been 2 hours. Alternatively, the last 5 minutes felt like a full season of television. The clock on the wall is technically correct, but it feels more like a suggestion right now. If that wasn’t a microdose, time is optional.
4. You Are Extremely Thirsty and Possibly Melting
Cottonmouth has arrived. You’ve consumed three glasses of water, a juice, and you’re now considering whether the condensation on your cup counts as a beverage. Meanwhile your body has merged with the couch in a way that feels permanent. Comfortable, but permanent. This is definitely not a microdose territory.
5. You’ve Texted Someone Something You Now Regret
It seemed like an important message at the time. Critical information that needed to be shared immediately. In the morning you reread it and discover it was either a long string of observations about snacks, a declaration that you should all hang out more, or an unprompted summary of a documentary you watched six months ago. Sharing is caring — but that wasn’t a microdose.
What to Do When That Wasn’t a Microdose
First, relax — cannabis overconsumption is uncomfortable but not dangerous. Here’s how to bring yourself back down:
- Stay hydrated — water and juice help; avoid alcohol
- Eat something — food can slow THC absorption and ground you
- Change your environment — fresh air, a different room, a walk outside
- CBD can help — CBD is believed to counteract some THC effects
- Distract yourself — music, a familiar show, or a simple activity
- Remind yourself it will pass — it always does, usually within 1–3 hours
How to Actually Microdose Cannabis Next Time
To avoid the next “that wasn’t a microdose” moment, try these strategies:
- Start with 2.5mg THC edibles and wait a full 2 hours before considering more
- With flower or vaporizers, take a single small hit and wait 15–20 minutes
- Keep a tolerance journal to track what amounts work for you
- Avoid mixing cannabis with alcohol or other substances when microdosing
- Use a measured vaporizer over joints or pipes for more predictable dosing
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a cannabis microdose?
A cannabis microdose is generally 1–5mg of THC. It produces mild, functional effects without significant psychoactive impairment. It’s meant to enhance daily activities rather than cause intoxication.
What happens if you take too much cannabis?
Overconsumption can cause increased heart rate, anxiety, time distortion, cottonmouth, and heavy sedation. It can be uncomfortable but is not life-threatening. Symptoms typically subside within 1–4 hours.
How long does a cannabis overconsumption episode last?
When smoking or vaping, effects typically peak within 30 minutes and subside within 1–3 hours. With edibles, effects can last 4–8 hours and peak 1–2 hours after consumption, which is why edible overconsumption is so common.
Does CBD help when you’ve taken too much THC?
Some evidence suggests CBD may help reduce THC-induced anxiety. Having CBD oil on hand is a common harm-reduction strategy among cannabis consumers. It won’t “cancel out” the THC entirely but may take the edge off.
References
- CBD vs. THC: What’s the Difference? — Healthline
- What Happens If You Use Too Much Cannabis? — Healthline
- Cannabis — Wikipedia
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